Once more unto the breach, dear friends....

(Whispering)...I took Raff to Flyball practice last night.

I made special treats for him (recipe below), and fed him almost no supper before practice (he got maybe 10 kibbles, just so there was something in his bowl while the others ate.)

And at practice, he actually did pretty well. My ability to keep his focus on me is no longer an issue. I can even have him loose, off leash (as long as I'm paying attention to him every second.) So that's huge progress in and of itself!

We had the fencing between the lanes, and during the first round, there was just another green dog in the other lane, and we alternated running them. So he was pretty much running by himself, and he was fine. His turn totally went to hell when he got tired, but he did many (apparently too many) successful full down & backs.

In the second round, a teammate volunteered to have her seasoned dog run in the other lane, opposite Raff. Now THAT was another story. I foolishly started him too far from the box, so the first thing he did was run up to the fencing and start barking at her dog in the other lane. I said his name in the death tone, scooped him up, and took him down to the middle of the lane to try again. More confusion and anarchy, but he did a little better.

Third time, I wised up and took him to right in front of the box (which is what I had TOLD myself I was going to do in the first place, even before we left the house, but I didn't do it when we got there because...I'm a complete idiot?? Yeah, theat must be it.) He was still very distracted by the other little dog, and his turn was utter crap, but he did make it to the box, he did get the ball, and he did bring it back to me. We ran several more times, each time successful (but crappy turn, even w/a box jump), each time backing up a bit further from the box. We got all the way back to the third jump from the box, and my teammate was starting her dog from there, too. So by the time we were done, he was starting with another dog right by his side in the other lane, and he did his job. Woo-hoo!

I've accepted that his turn may just be spotty at best. It could be when he gets used to the distraction of the other dogs (IF he gets used to the distraction of the other dogs), his turn will recover. And I can certainly work on his conditioning more, so getting tired shouldn't be such a factor. And during the week, I'm going to try to have him do a few turns here and there, with the clicker, so I keep reinforcing what is a correct turn. We'll see.

For the moment, I'm going to keep him in Flyball. May doG have mercy on our souls!

RECIPE:

Raffy's Chicken Parmesan Re-Treats

*1 chicken breast, boiled, then pureed in a food processor w/enough broth to make it the
consistency of canned dog food
*2 eggs
*1 t garlic powder
*2 T parmesan cheese
*1 1/2 c whole wheat flour (more, if needed, to make the dough stiff)

Mix together well. Press into greased 9" x 13" pan. Bake at 250 degrees for 30 - 35 minutes. Cut into desired size pieces and refrigerate or freeze.

Sugar Free Lemon Meringue Pie

I like a lemon meringue pie for Christmas dessert. It's a bright, cheery dessert...a nice reminder that we are past the shortest day of the year, and that the sun is with us (however imperceptibly) a little bit longer each day. Afterall, isn't that what these mid-winter holidays are for? To get us through the winter doldrums, to help us cast our thoughts forward to spring?

And those thoughts, along with the meringue, remind me of my mother. She always looked forward to the shortest day of the year because it gave her hope during those hideous Wisconsin winters. Meringues (not pie, just meringues, usually with strawberries and whipped cream for toppings) were one of her signature desserts at Christmas time.

I found this recipe on-line, but I'm not linking to it b/c it's the single worst written recipe I've ever come across. The ingredients are listed in an indecipherable jumble...not in the order of preparation, and the directions are worse--no differentiation of when to use the duplicated ingredients. And then there are the two ingredients mentioned in the directions, but not shown on the ingredient list at all. Gotta love it.

At any rate, here's the recipe, translation by Patty:

Filling
1 1/2 c. Splenda
2 T flour
1/4 c. cornstarch
1/4 t. salt
1 1/2 c. water
4 egg yolks
1/3 c. fresh squeezed lemon juice (not fresh is okay, but as always, fresh will be MUCH better)
1 T. butter

Pre-baked 9" pie crust, cooled.

Meringue topping
4 egg whites
1/4 t. cream of tartar
1/4 t. cornstarch
1/2 c. Splenda
1 t. vanilla extract

Mix Splenda, flour, cornstarch, and salt in saucepan. Add water and mix well (whisk, if necessary, to eliminate lumps). Whisk egg yolks, stir into water/Splenda mixture. Cook over low heat, stirring constantly, until mixture is quite thick. Remove from heat, add lemon juice and butter. Mix well (I ended up with some lumps, so I used my whisk to get rid of them.) Pour filling into pie crust. Allow to cool while preparing the meringue.

In medium sized mixing bowl, beat egg whites until frothy. Add remaining ingredients and continue beating until slightly stiff peaks form. Swirl over pie filling, making sure to touch the edges of the crust all the way around.

Bake at 350 degrees for 10 - 15 minutes, or until golden brown. Cool before serving.

Merry Christmas, everyone. Now let's start planning our gardens!

Schutzhund...er, Pschutzhund Sleeves

Sheila, my lovely Sheila, was apparently separated from her littermates far too soon, and after that, she was never around other dogs...at least, for the formative months. That is to say, she never learned bite inhibition. Yes, bite inhibition can theoretically be taught to a dog who didn't previously learn it from its littermates, but I never did it. So shoot me.

And Sheila loves to play wrestle, but no sane dog will play with her because she's way too rough. So I play with her. And I've got the marks to prove it. My arms are always littered with a number of bruises, in various states of healing.

Now that I'm on break, I've decided to do something about this. Oh no--not TRAIN her. Goodness. How silly. No, I'm going to make a pair of Schutzhund Sleeves. Or, since she's not a working breed dog, and these are only going to be Pseudo-schutzhund Sleeves, I'm calling them Pschutzhund Sleeves. Tee hee.

It being the end of the month, I'm going cheap on the materials (I may regret this, of course. A real Schutzhund sleeve, the cheapest, costs about $70).

*Old pair of blue jeans (note the holes)

*Fleece

*2 oven mitts (from the Dollar Tree)

I cut a length of fleece, 26" x 10".

Fold that over, and sew a seam on the long side.

Turn that right-side out, in half upon itself. Oh, just look at the picture.

Fold back the outer layer, tuck the inner layer inside the oven mitt, by about an inch.

Smooth the outer layer back over the outside of the oven mitt. Hand stitch fleece sleeve to oven mitt, taking care that you're stitching through all of the layers. This is your inner padding for the ultimate finished product.

The outside covering of the sleeve will be the denim. Using the sleeve/mitt as a pattern, trace sewing and cutting lines on one leg of the blue jeans. Take care to account for the seam allowance around the thumb...I "moved" the whole thing over about 1/4 inch for this (as you can see by the multiple tracing lines I left in the attempt. I'm also using the existing outer seam of the jeans for one side. Cuz I'm lazy.

Sew the outer cover, then hem it.

Stuff the inside in the outside. Is it good? Darn tootin'! Doin' the Big Fig Newton! But I digress. You're done! Now make another one and try them out!

DISCLAIMERS! DISCLAIMERS! DISCLAIMERS!

If you're stupid enough to think that you won't get hurt using $2 Pschutzhund Sleeves when playing with a dog that has no bite inhibition, then you're an idiot. You WILL get hurt. Don't blame me if you do. See, here's the video to prove it.

So, how do I rate this project? A qualified success. The bite pressure was definitely lessened (i.e., I didn't feel like my bones were being crushed); however, she was still able to grab and pinch some skin, so it wasn't a pain-free experience. Also, the blue jean material is no match for her teeth...the sleeve suffered damage in our first and brief encounter. Nevertheless, we were still able to play longer and more roughly than we ever could with just my bare arms.

What's that you say? It's stupid to encourage a dog to bite hard? Well, duh. So don't do it.

More food

Having eaten enough chips and dip (Ruffles + Lipton Onion Soup Mix dip) to very nearly make myself puke yesterday afternoon, today I've redoubled my efforts to have good, low carb options at hand. (Although, I have to say that the occasional overindulgence could be a good diet trick for me, in that I really don't care if I never see another chip + dip, let alone eat it, again. Bleeeeechhhhh.)

So, today I've got happy little Peanut Butter...Bloops? They're certainly not "cups". See for yourself:

These are pretty simple, and quite tasty, I must say.

1 c. natural (no sugar) peanut butter

1/2 c. Splenda

1/4 t. vanilla

1 16 oz. bag GOOD semi-sweet chocolate chips (I'm partial to Ghiradelli, myself)

Mix first three ingredients. Melt chocolate. Shape peanut butter mixture into small balls (size is up to you). They will be kind of goopy...do your best. Dip into chocolate, set on wax paper to cool. Dust with cocoa powder b/c it's pretty.

You have to work pretty quickly with these...if you linger, the peanut butter ball will melt into the chocolate, and you'll quickly have a little pot of goo. Tasty goo, yes, but not quite what you're going for, really.

I also made a low carb pumpkin pie, using Laura Dolson's recipe. (She's my hero.) But I just used my almond meal crust (1 1/2 c. almond meal, 3 T butter) instead of the pecan one she suggests. It's looking good, but I haven't tasted it yet. Update on taste tomorrow.

I also recently made the cauliflower souffle thing (I follow the recipe except for adding 1/4 c. sauteed onion), that I describe in the For the Love of Side Dishes post. It's really a very happy food. You will want to roll in it. Or possibly rub it in your hair. Or both.

Winter Wonderland

Totally. All last week it was snowy (but the university didn't close b/c they didn't want to have to cancel the students' finals...grrrrrr.) Then over the weekend, we got freezing rain. There was 1/2 inch of ice over the two inches of snow, and when the dogs ran out onto it, and their 16 paws broke through, it sounded like thunder!

Last night we lost power for about 5 hours. But it was kind of fun, seeing how resourceful we could be. Lots of candles, the fireplace and lots of wood (courtesy of summer before last when DH downed the 8 apple trees that crowded our yard), our habit of buying batteries at Costco so we always have a lot of all sizes, all of our camping gear--including 2 propanes stoves, a propane heater, clothing, sleeping bags, etc., etc., etc. So we had a nice fire going, candles all around, and music playing before we went to bed last night. Almost (note, I said almost) disappointing when the power came back on at 2am.

Here's the dogs playing in the snow. They're all completely puppified by it.

Hmmmm.....

Gee, he reminds me of someone. Let me see...who is it?

Oh, yeah, I've got it!

DH gets credit for initally noticing the similarity in appearance.

(Not necessarily similarity in personality!)

Death to Stuffies!

Wyatt says, "Life is good, I have all the toys."

Sheila says, "My ass, you have all the toys. Must DESTROY!!!"

And Wyatt must be content with the deflated leftovers.

Sheila says, "My work is never done."

Holiday Strategy

While it's not actually working very well (I'm eating everything in sight), my food strategy for the holidays is to make sure I have plenty of happy low-carb snacks on hand, to counter the temptation of all the high carb snacks that seem to ooze out of the woodwork this time of year. To that end, I've been making:
*low carb eggnog,
*sugar-free hot chocolate (1 1/2 T cocoa powder, 1 1/2 T splenda, hot milk),
*low carb crackers (I use almond flour instead of flax meal b/c flax meal tastes like shit.)

My own creation is the Low Carb Almond Joy. This would also be good to make at Halloween, when all those nasty candies invade your home.

Start with a sugar-free macaroon recipe, make the macaroons into little oblong shapes:

Add a raw almond to the center of the macaroon; reshape if necessary.

Bake as directed for the macaroons, until wonderfully golden brown.

Now for the fabulous part. Melt a bag and a half of dark (semi-sweet) chocolate chips. Get the good ones, not the crap ones. Once the baked macaroons are completely cooled, dip them in the chocolate. Set on waxed paper to cool.

Wait until completely cooled to eat them. Heh. Riiiight.

Now, if you try this and aren't successful, it could be that you need a Constant Kitchen Companion, like I have. Sheila is my little Helpy-Helperton.

Wy-Fi and the Cheerleaders

Wyatt and I finally got to be a part of the Portland Trail Blazer half-time show demo. Our Flyball team is asked to participate a couple of times a year, but I've never been able to make it before this...and I've always desperately wanted to go.

Wy-man thought the cheerleaders were the BOMB.


It was the Weds. before Thanksgiving, and the show was sold out--which meant there were 20,000 cheering fan for us! Also, it was just before Oregon's big "Civil War" football game (OSU vs. UofO), so the organizers asked if the Flyball teams would dress up in Civil War gear. (Yes, not being from Oregon, when I first saw that request, I thought, "We're supposed to wear blue and grey?" No.....) OSU colors are orange and brown, UofO are green and yellow. We complied. The crowd went wild.

He was such a pro. Some of the dogs were a bit put off by the crowd noise (it really did sound like thunder...good thing Sheila wasn't there.) But Wy-Fi didn't even notice. He saw the ball at the end of the lane, I said the magic words ("reeeeady, ready, GO PUSH!"), and he was off.

I honestly don't know if I'll ever have another dog as ab-fab as Wyatt. He is sweet. He is quiet. He's a machine. He's a horse, while being graceful and cat-like. He's totally predictable (albeit, given that I'm human, sometimes only in retrospect.)

Flyball Kees

Call me psycho, but I'm taking another run at getting Raff to be a Flyball dog. This has been an on-again/off-again, work in progress since fall of 2005. We've worked through a lot of issues, and when I last had Raffy at practice, he was able to do a full down and back cleanly, as long as no other dogs were around. Not exactly tournament-ready. In the presence of other dogs, he gets distracted and crosses over to the other lane, or chases the dog he's supposed to be passing. I had started working on overcoming those distractions--and was making some good progress--only to see that his box turn was going to hell. At that point, I backed off and pulled him from training...for like, the 5th time in his life...to concentrate on Agility instead.

But I have a dream. There are only 37 Keeshonden to have ever been registered with NAFA. There are currently only 2 Kees active in Flyball. I want Raff to be the third. I think it would say a lot about how wonderful and driven he is, and it would say not-so-bad things about me as a trainer, too. I also would love to be able to bring Raff along with me and Wyatt to tournaments and practices--for a real purpose--because he really can play. (Not that Wyatt would like it so much, but he'd get over it.)


So I'm thinking of taking another run at it. Each time I've tried, and then backed off, I have made better progess than the time before. Maybe I need to give up the "all or nothing" (i.e., complete commitment OR completely quitting), and just look at this as a series of advances...knowing that with each try, I may have to back off and take a breather before making the next run at it. Eventually, with that philosophy, Raffy and I might push over the top!

This run will consist of working in the backyard, starting from one jump only, sending Raff while at the same time adding the distraction of throwing Wyatt and Sheila's balls/Wyatt and Sheila fetching their balls. We've been doing this all week, and this morning Raff actually maintained his focus and successfully completed these short runs 11 out of 12 times. I'm not upping the ante at all this week, except for to move the position of the box to different places in the yard. But no further distance challenge until he's equally successful in all places, and with Wyatt and Sheila running on either side of him...also with no degradation of his box turn.

After that, in each successive week, we'll try adding more distance. Perhaps only one foot at a time, depending on how it goes. When he's doing the full 51 foot distance with success in all criteria, THEN I'll start taking him back to practice...where we'll close the distance to one jump only again, and work our way back to the full course slowly, and only when he's able to be successful with dogs running on either side of him.

After that, we'll work on passing.

Or, somewhere in the process, I'll fizzle out again, and have to wait for the next burst of Flyball Kees Enthusiasm to revive my drive.

Meanwhile, for inspirational purposes, here's a video of one of the Kees currently running in Flyball. He is Casanova, who runs with 2 Lane Highway in MD.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KIMnhNormw (his team's run starts at 1:14).

Low Carb Snickerdoodles

Another happy low carb baking day. These are Low Carb Snickerdoodles from a recipe on Recipezaar.com. They're quite tasty, I'm happy to say, except that my almond flour seems on the verge of going bad, so there's a bit of a tainted taste, dammit. Not too bad...not enough to keep me from eating these bad boys. Still, it's annoying. It's a new bag of flour, and I've kept it refrigerated, so it must have been old to begin with. Fred Meyer doesn't keep the almond flour in the refrigerated section. Guess we'll be buying it elsewhere from now on.

Agile Raff!

Finally, I've competed in an Agility trial with a Keeshond! This is only a dream I've had for, say, 10 years or so. Just a dream come true, that's all. No big whoop.
He did really well. After a shaky start (he ran around the second jump, so I brought him back to try again), he stayed with me remarkably well. He didn't knock any bars, either.


We had to skip the Dog Walk and the A-Frame because we just haven't had enough training time on either of those for me to feel he could accomplish them safely. So our run was just FEO (For Exhibit Only...no scoring), but I was still very pleased to get him out there and see what he could do.

In the pinwheel, I did a rear cross after the first jump. I'm kind of proud of that move because I anticipated (correctly) that he would shoot out ahead of me after that jump, so I could easily cross behind him and then get him back on track with me in time for the second pinwheel jump. It worked! I also knew that I wouldn't be able to get the rear cross in BEFORE the first jump b/c we always end up waaaaay too close together (as you can see in the picture above.)

This is the third to the last jump--he went way out after this jump, ignoring all my cues that he needed to collect and turn right away...but I was able to get him back to me pretty easily, and he didn't take the off-course jump that was right in front of him, so all was well.

We finished our run just fine, thank you very much. And he really enjoyed himself, despite having to wait about 4 hours before being able to run. Unlike Sheila, who got so stressed out, he stayed pretty calm in the car. And I am amazed at how focused he actually was once we got into the ring, especially since he'd never been at this facility before, and had never trialed before...so he really had no idea what to expect. If dogs expect things, that is.

Our next trial is October 5th...CPE Level 1, Standard and Jumpers, NOT FEO. Yee-haw!

Flyball!

I haven't posted much about Flyball, which is odd because it's the dog sport that I actually DO the most. Wyatt and I run Flyball with the Muddy Paws A-Flyin' team here in Salem. We joined them about a year ago, after "defecting" from the Portland Tail Blazers.

Wyatt has turned out to be a wonderfully fast (4.21 seconds) and reliable Flyball dog. He loves to race the dog in the other lane, and he especially loves running in the start position (b/c then he's going head to head with the other dog, right off the bat.) He stares the other guy down while we're waiting for the lights to go, and then he flies down the lane like a bullet from a gun.

His turn is a thing of beauty, too...if I do say so myself. He doesn't stutter-step up to the box, but rather he hurls himself full-power onto it with all four paws, then pushes off with his back legs, just like the swimmers that give the "swimmer's box turn" its name. And his turn doesn't fade. He does it the same way, every time. (beaming)

This is the shot I never get to see myself, because by the time he's running back to me, I've turned and am running away from him, screaming his name at the top of my lungs. That really speeds him up because he's trying to catch me. His return tends to be even faster than his run to the box.

After the run, happy dog, happy human.

For the Love of Side Dishes

I'm loving my low carb life (I've lost 15 pounds since January, and haven't felt deprived for one second.) But lately I find myself tiring of evening meals that consist solely of a tasty meat and a yummy veggie. Come supper-time, I find myself hankering for a good ol' side dish (and apparently, for adapting southern speech affectations, too.) I've learned to listen to my hankerings...to try to ignore or suppress them is the sure route to relapse and weight gain. I must find satisfying low carb alternatives to mac & cheese, potatoes au gratin, etc. But I don't want cruddy knock-offs of those fabulously comforting dishes...I want something that gives me the same effect, without leaving me saddened and depressed that I'm left only with a cheap substitute, and still longing for the real thing.

Last weekend, I was surprised to find this craving fulfilled by the cheesy cauliflower souffle thing. That recipe has a bit of flour in it (I used brown rice flour, given DH's celiac-ness), but it's not a lot, and I find I can tolerate a few carbs in the evening without risking any damage to my low carb soul. I used Italian seasoned almond flour (almond flour mixed with Italian seasoning and parmesan cheese) instead of the bread crumbs on top.

Now today, when I was out walking Boca, I started envisioning deep fried zucchini cakes...something like crab cakes, but with zucchini instead. Given the nature of the internet, I assumed that not only would someone else already have had that same vision, but would undoubtedly already have posted a recipe on-line. Click Yahoo, enter "zucchini cakes", scroll down to find an entry that also includes the words "deep fried", and viola, satisfaction after about 3 seconds of effort: Zucchini Cakes! Yee-haw! I plan to use almond flour instead of the bread crumbs in the recipe.

I'll try them tonight and post the results later. If this pays off, I shall continue my search for satisfying low carb side dish recipes.

Raff's First Agility Class

I’ve been taking an Agility class with Sheila this summer--it's a Starter/Novice class for people and dogs who are pretty much competition-ready. Unfortunately, Sheila (who has arthritis) has been through a really bad patch these last few weeks, and as I mentioned in my earlier post, I'm afraid I'm finally facing her complete and total retirement from all dog sports. That's a sad thing to face, in and of itself, but that also meant that I'd have to stop attending that class because none of my other dogs are even close to competition-ready. And taking a different, lower level class is problematic because: 1) the timeslot for this class works perfectly for me; 2) the location for this class is also perfect for me; and 3) the people in the class as nice and friendly and I like them, and I like the instructor a lot...and that combination is a rare thing for me!

Enter Raffy, the pinch hitter! He's only had a few private Agility lessons, and lots of time with me in the backyard. But my instructor said it was fine for me to bring Raff in place of Sheila, even though he's not nearly as far along in his training. So last night we went, and we both had a great time. He still can't do some of the obstacles, so we just stuck to the jumps and tunnels...but I was really pleased to see that my backyard foundation training has paid off. He stuck with me the whole class and kept his focus remarkably well. He didn't resort to spinning in front of me (something we've worked very hard on fixing!), and he didn't knock any jump bars.

I'm so pleased with my little man. This is the second time he's had to sub for his big sister, Sheila. The first time was almost 3 years ago. We were in a beginning Flyball class, when Sheila suffered a soft-tissue injury in one of her front paws, and she needed 6 weeks of recovery time. (The trials and tribulations caused by poor structure in dogs is a topic I'll have to save for another post.) We had just started the class, so with 4 weeks to go, I started bringing Raffy instead. At that time, Raff was very young, very hyper, and had undergone almost no socialization. He'd lived with us for less than 6 months. It was pretty much a disaster. Everytime I let go of his leash, he'd go flying across the arena to visit the nearest dog. He went completely berserk everytime he came within 75 feet of another dog--that's no exaggeration.

Fast forward 3 years, with age and a lot of reactive dog work (took a class, practiced our lessons...never stopped practicing our lessons), he's a changed dog. He's a joy to play with--a pleasure to have in class, as they say.

Yesterday's Low Carb Menu

Yesterday, I had:

Cheese stick
Milk
Coffee w/Splenda

Leftover steak
Leftover cheesy cauliflower souffle-thing
(as some of the comments suggested, I added some sauteed onion and used seasoned almond flour--instead of the breadcrumbs--for more flavor.)

Dry roasted peanuts
Milk

Sugar-free macaroon

Grilled bratwurst
Sugar-free coleslaw (bag of angel cut cabbage, 1/4 c. Splenda, 1/4 c. mayo, 1/4 c. apple cider vinegar);
Milk

Homemade sugar-free blueberry icecream...recipe later.

I love this diet.

We Q'd!!!!!

Finally, after over 5 years of on-again-off-again training, I overcame my reservations and entered Sheila in an Agility trial. We just entered for 1 run, 1 day--CPE Level 2 (novice), July 19, 2008, in Turner, OR.


I was nervous, but not as bad as I can get sometimes. I kept it pretty cool, if I do say so myself. My strategy was to keep Sheila in the car so that she wouldn't get too stressed out. We had to wait for about 4 hours before we finally got to go, so it was good that I'd made that plan. By the time it was our turn, she was still pretty fresh and engaged. (When she gets too stressed out, she just disconnects completely.)


I won't say it was perfect--there was some sniffing before the dog walk, and again after the 2nd jump, and again before the teeter. We had to restart the weaves once. At one point I said "here" when I meant to say "go", so we almost got tangled up.


But the rest of the run was pretty...it felt good. I gestured, she went to the right place and did the right thing. I turned, and she moved with me. And most of the time she was smiling and enjoying herself (nevermind the sniffing!)


A professional photographer, Joe Camp, was there. He took this photo.


This might be...well, pretty much for sure was, Sheila's first and last Agility trial. We took an Agility class to get ready for it, but even though I kept her jump heights low (8 inches), and even though we kept training light and rep's few, it seemed to take it's toll. She's nine years old now, and she has spondylosis and probably arthritis in her shoulders, too. For the latter half of July, and now most of August, she's been pretty uncomfortable...waking up in the night, panting, pacing, can't get comfortable. Slowly she's improving, but I can't conscience pushing her any further.


It's all just play now...whatever she wants to do.

Just an update

Things are still going well on many fronts.

I had a wonderful breakfast with low carb pancakes (still lovin' that almond flour!)

Yesterday, I played Agility with Sheila in the backyard, then in the afternoon/evening I took Raff and Wyatt to Flyball practice. This morning, Boca and I took a lovely walk in the rain.

Many weeks ago, Terry finished raking the moss out of the front yard. Now the grass is making its comeback. The back yard is shaping up, too, with just our leaving it alone. So typically Pacific Northwest. The struggle here is getting things NOT to grow.

So, life is good. As they say in the Conehead movie, stability and contentment have been achieved. At least for the moment, and that's good enough for me.

Personal Space

Am I the only one who does NOT like massages? A stranger rubbing their hands on my body just isn't my idea of a good time. Relaxing? I think not. All I can do is worry about whatever zits I might have on various body parts, or what if I suddenly have to fart?

I would not mind a massage from DH, I'm sure. But I'm afraid that no one else on the planet has leave to touch my person.

I've actually had 3 massages in my life, and while I wasn't totally traumatized by any of them, I also didn't just dissolve into a pool of bliss that left me pining for a weekly appointment with a local masseuse. I politely endured each one, trying desperately all the while to focus on the pleasant sensations my muscles were feeling, vs. the personal space violation that my brain was screaming about. It was a struggle each time.

I also have a hard time with any kind of assistance in personal grooming. This includes haircuts, manicures, pedicures, dental cleanings (or any kind of dentistry), and eye exams. I do force myself to endure the dentist and the eye doctor...I do want to keep my teeth, and I do enjoy seeing things. But the other stuff is unnecessary--based on vanity only. I can probably count on two hands the number of times I've had a professional haircut (and yes, my appearance reflects that, but I don't really care.)

I went through a fake nail phase for about 8 weeks. For much of my younger life, I tried to maintain long, painted claws. I was pretty good at it, too, if I do say so myself. I'd file and polish a couple of times a week because I couldn't stand any of the nails to be uneven, and chipped polish was right out. Then, in my early 30's I started to study karate, and long nails became a thing of the past (you can't make a decent fist with your own claws digging into your own palm). But 7 years later, we moved from Seattle to Santa Fe, where there was no good karate school, and so I stopped practicing. I was also pretending to be Career Woman, and so I bought a bunch of suits, got a professional haircut, and went to a salon to get some of those fake nails that are/were all the rage. At first, I enjoyed my new claws, and had a refill done after a couple of weeks, and then had them re-done completely after another couple of weeks.

But the experience was to be short-lived. You see, even though the salon person was only touching my hands (and so my personal space-o-meter was not sounding the alarm), she made the mistake of commenting on my cuticles. Her English was not the greatest, but I could still easily understand that my cuticles were out of control and completely unacceptable, and she would be unable to do the fake nails again unless I first had a manicure.

I interpreted this as a personal insult and took great offense that this woman felt free to criticize me in any way, shape, or form. I left the salon and never went back.

I've had parallel experiences with almost every hair stylist I've encountered. They invariably feel free to make suggestions for my appearance ("Gel in curly hair is really in style now!") or my grooming habits ("This style will only take 5 minutes a day to blow dry...surely you can spare that?") Or they don't understand my hair, which is fairly curly, but also very fine. They see the curls and think there is more mass than there really is, so they hack it all away, and I'm left looking like a complete pinhead.

I've never tried a pedicure because let's be honest...if I'm going to start feeling vane about something, it's probably NOT going to be my feet. Trust me, I have bigger fish to fry in the area of appearance.

Now that I'm 45 and really indulging in the whole "one of the benefits of growing older is that I can stop being even remotely concerned about what other people think of me" thing, here are some my thoughts on my appearance:

1) Hair: It's always going to be about shoulder length, and when the ends get too scraggly, I will trim them off myself. My hair is curly enough to hide any uneven cuts I make, so why pay a stylist to perform this service? For the privilege of hearing comments that are only designed to errode my self-esteem and make me feel even more dependent upon others to provide me with a socially acceptable appearance? Ah, no. My hair is also going to go gently into its natural shade of gray. If I go gray now, I figure that for the next 15 - 20 years, I will constantly look as if I'm about 55 years old. While that's kind of a bummer now, when I'm not that old, I'll be reaping the benefits for many years after I am that old. See, I'm planning ahead.

2) Nails: Since polish won't last more than 3 days, I choose to forego it comepletely. I'm defaulting to my karate nails. Trimmed short, filed round.

3) Teeth: They will be clean. My gums will be maintained. And no, you new dentists, hygenists, periodontists, or anyone else looking into my mouth for the first time, I am NOT going to fix the spaces between my teeth. Thirty plus years ago, when I was in junior high, I would have given anything to get braces, and I would have cherished my resulting Crest smile. I did, in fact, suffer considerably because of what I perceived to be the fatal flaw in my appearance. The sad truth is, when you're the youngest of 9 children, and your father works in a paper mill earning less than $20K per year, and your family doesn't have dental insurance, you do not get to spend the $1100 it would have cost to fix your teeth, no matter how sad this makes you, no matter how much it might affect your fragile childhood self-esteem. But, those days are over. I am 45, for doG's sake. I have been happily married for 20 years. I have long since learned to smile freely, openly, and without reservation, flashing my spaces for all the world to see. Am I now, for no apparent reason, supposed to subject myself to the pain and suffering (and cost) of braces? Heh. Right.

4) Body: I am out of shape, and this bothers me less and less for appearance's sake, and more and more for functionality's sake. I can't run as far as I used to, I get winded going up stairs, and my knees are breaking down. If I want this body to last another 40 years (which is not at all unreasonable in my family), I need to keep all the functionality that I possibly can. Losing the extra 20 or so pounds that I'm carrying around and getting strong again are my priorities.

I like knowing that, aside from teeth cleanings every 6 months, and eye exams every 2 years, I don't have to let anyone touch me. Well, except for DH...and that, of course, is a choice I make very happily. Because he's a nice man. Because he would never make an unkind comment about any part of my person. Because my whole self--brain and body--agree that it feels good when he touches me.

Our Sorry-Ass Front Yard

Three years ago, we moved back to the Pacific Northwest after a 4 year exile in Santa Fe, NM. I couldn't handle all of that sunshine and brown, dead crap everywhere...give me gray and green! I was so excited that I'd be able to have a gorgeous green lawn again.

Fast forward to the present.

We have the crappiest lawn on the block.

We have moss.

We have thatch.

We have anything but a lovely green lawn.

We've also got a rosebush run amok.

And a very lopsided Daphne (but the smell is still amazing!)

And so, DH and I have started the yard reclamation project. We have started raking out the moss...and let me tell you, that's a real fun job. Oh yeah.

Check back in a year for what are (I hope) absolutely STUNNING "after" shots.